Confused

I push you hard.
Yet I want to pull you for a tight kiss.
I ignore you well.
Yet I patiently wait for you to call me again.
I proudly smile.
Yet my heart cries out your name.
I think hard about you.
About the decision I made.
People might say I’m crazy.
But hey, do you understand me?
I need you.
But you do not need me.
I am happy with you.
But you are not with me.
I am just your friend, you say, your only friend.
You confuse me.
I thought you will marry me.

Numb

I’d like to stop thinking about you
About how you look at me saying,
“have I already told you I love you?”
I’d like to change my memories of you
Especially when you kiss the back of my hand
Seems like I still feel your lips touch mine
With every dream at night,
Your voice resounds in my head
When you told me “I’ll marry you”
Yes, I still hear you raging mad at me
Calling me angel, your only fantasy
Yes, I still feel you touching my face
As we kiss so tenderly
Yes, I still miss you so badly
Yes, I want to be numb ’cause it’s painful
When I still hear and feel you
Yes, I want to be numb ’cause it’s painful
To hear you say “goodbye”.