Confused

I push you hard.
Yet I want to pull you for a tight kiss.
I ignore you well.
Yet I patiently wait for you to call me again.
I proudly smile.
Yet my heart cries out your name.
I think hard about you.
About the decision I made.
People might say I’m crazy.
But hey, do you understand me?
I need you.
But you do not need me.
I am happy with you.
But you are not with me.
I am just your friend, you say, your only friend.
You confuse me.
I thought you will marry me.