You Asked The Reason

You asked the reason, and I groped for the right words because I did not want to sound too dramatic for my age or too shallow for my age. But neither kind of words came out.  I just settled for the obvious reason (which you yourself provided by wild guessing based on what you knew about me, because, on my own, I would never have found it to be the most obvious reason) so you could easily understand.  But it did not feel right because that was not what I intended to answer you with in the first place.  Maybe I was waiting for your cue, a sort of is-that-really-the-reason-why line which never came. I wondered, however, if that line would come later if only our time together was not short lived.  But the hourglass was just too cruel. Or maybe the hourglass was just my scapegoat. Heck, I could have said it all out in a matter of seconds. But I needed a little more push. My courage at almost anything is always below the average level.  I know I needed to work that one out. If I didn’t need to work that one out, you will never have to ask me for a reason in the first place.

Oops...
Can you read between the lines? I think I dropped a clue.