Clow Card: The Fly

I picked a Clow Card: The Fly

The Fly (Reverse):  Confusion, carefulness, caring.  Look out above.

Just as I was thinking of you leaving me

There comes hope from this card that I picked

The Fly. It’s reversed. Well, what can I say,

Of course I thought you’ll never fly away

But if it is true

Why don’t you still come to rescue me

From this abyss of loneliness

From this cage of emptiness

Will the future be so far still

Will it not take effect so suddenly?

Can the card be wrong

Or I interpreted it incorrectly?

Confusion.

That is what is left when you said goodbye to me.

The point is that you did not leave me immediately.

You cared to still linger around

Finding me, searching still for my company

After you said goodbye to me.

Carefulness.

That is what I wanted for you to show me.

Didn’t you realize I am hurting badly.

Your presence makes me high, your presence makes me low

So please be careful with me, understand my anxiety

After you said goodbye to me, you could have been more

Caring.

So is the card lying?

Have I just construed it according to my liking?

Do I need now to look out above?

So I might get my hands ready

In case you change your mind

And you come flying toward me.

..Promises..

In general, we like to give promises..
And whether we accept it or not, we like to hear someone promise that things will be like the ones we hope them to be..
But these promises often break..
Then the next time you hear another promise, you take it as another false hope..
Sooner or later, you proved you’re right..
And so false hopes pile up..
And then you ask..
What is better..
..saying that things will come out better, saying versions of ‘don’t-worry-i’ll-be-here-forever’ lines.. ?
..or just being with someone you care not to lose..
..seeing yourselves happy together without any expectations of what each other is supposed to do..
..feeling contented with each others presence..
..and even if no words come out from anyone of you, you feel your dreams come true...

YouAndMe.java

import emotions.*;
private class YouAndMe {
private String you;
private String me;
private int arguments;
private boolean isUsOkay;
private boolean youHappy;
private boolean meHappy;
private boolean youFeelLoved;
private boolean meFeelLoved;
private YouAndMe(String you, String me, boolean isUsOkay, int arguments) {
this.you = you;
this.me = me;
this.isUsOkay = isUsOkay;
this.arguments = arguments;
youHappy = false;
meHappy = false;
youFeelLoved = false;
meFeelLoved = true;
}
private String willToBeTogether(){
if(youHappy && youFeelLoved && isUsOkay && (arguments == 0)){
return “We will be together!”;
}else{
return “We will not be together”;
}
}
private static void main(String arguments[]){
YouAndMe us = new YouAndMe(”best”, “angel”, false, arguments.length);
System.out.println(us.willBeTogether());
}
}

You Are Confusing Me

It started with goodbye
You look at me straight in the eye
There’s nothing stopping you
You’re going for your dreams
And I’m not in those…
I pleaded let me wait
I’ll change you’ll see, our dreams will all come true
‘Cause hey, we’ve come so far
I’m not going to lose you.
But it appears you’ve made up your mind
You’re gonna leave me behind.
So baby stop calling me
I thought you wanna be free
I want to be alone, I’d rather turn off my phone
‘Cause I can’t resist to answer
And still come when you asked me to…
I pleaded let me wait
I’ll change you’ll see, our dreams will all come true
‘Cause hey, we’ve come so far
I’m not going to lose you.
But it appears you’ve made up your mind
You’re gonna leave me behind.
Leave me now, if you must
You are confusing me
Goodbyes are endings, can’t you see
I still love you, can’t you feel
I pleaded let me wait
I’ll change you’ll see, our dreams will all come true
‘Cause hey, we’ve come so far
I’m not going to lose you.
But it appears you’ve made up your mind
You’re gonna leave me behind.
You’re gonna leave me behind.
You’re gonna leave me behind.

Rooftop

It was the first since the last
A month ago barely made me move
The same tune I sing
It goes like, baby, I still love you
Now you are beside me
Curled up and sleeping
It makes me want to kiss you
And whisper, baby, I still love you
Your calm, gentle touch
The smile I so miss
A perfect beside me, you make me lose my breath
Ironic, for you are my life
Then we went to the rooftop
Against the wind you brought me
Along with your dreams
You see the landscape, wide and big
I see the great height, I’m afraid to fall even more
‘Cause I know you can’t catch me
Baby, you’re leaving me…
I tried to look up
Saw the big clouds
You were so happy
And said they look sweet
You’re really heading up
Flying high to your dreams
Now you are beside me
Soon I’ll be lonely
I don’t know why I’m still here
Don’t give me hints you still love me..

Confused

I push you hard.
Yet I want to pull you for a tight kiss.
I ignore you well.
Yet I patiently wait for you to call me again.
I proudly smile.
Yet my heart cries out your name.
I think hard about you.
About the decision I made.
People might say I’m crazy.
But hey, do you understand me?
I need you.
But you do not need me.
I am happy with you.
But you are not with me.
I am just your friend, you say, your only friend.
You confuse me.
I thought you will marry me.

Numb

I’d like to stop thinking about you
About how you look at me saying,
“have I already told you I love you?”
I’d like to change my memories of you
Especially when you kiss the back of my hand
Seems like I still feel your lips touch mine
With every dream at night,
Your voice resounds in my head
When you told me “I’ll marry you”
Yes, I still hear you raging mad at me
Calling me angel, your only fantasy
Yes, I still feel you touching my face
As we kiss so tenderly
Yes, I still miss you so badly
Yes, I want to be numb ’cause it’s painful
When I still hear and feel you
Yes, I want to be numb ’cause it’s painful
To hear you say “goodbye”.

I Dream

At my side, I always seek you

I always think I saw you

These corners of my eyes are such sweet fools!

My imagination insists itself as truths!

I dream big happiness for our tomorrow

That we each find ways to cure each passing day’s sorrow

With silent tenderness of our smiles

Before we lay at night, before we close our eyes

I dream big hope for our tomorrow

But with such simplicity as that of a sunflower

Which faces the sun amidst cold air

May we do the same as we build our lair

I dream big faith and trust for our tomorrow

That though at times we must separate as we go

We find two rivers, shallow as they are, must flow

Toward one deep ocean, and that, we always know

I dream true love to embrace us

That we do all ways to make each other feel this power

In our delicate actions

In our words that draw inspirations

I love you.